"We're all ignorant, just about different stuff"

Will Rogers State Park in named after the cowboy entertainer who was one of the highest paid stars of the 20s and 30, and was famously quoted as saying he “never met a man he didn’t like” which is really odd considering he worked in show business. Did they not have publicists and agents in vaudeville?

The park is the land that he bought in the 1920s in what is now Pacific Palisades that became his ranch where he practiced ridin’ n’ ropin’ and uh, polo and golf before his untimely death in a plane crash. When his widow died in 1944, the ranch became a state park and the ranch house became a historic landmark. Well, historic by Southern California standards. The ranch house is interesting, though, if you like that kind of thing….

The park’s location overlooking the Pacific Ocean (including the beach below) makes it a very pleasant place to spend an afternoon, learn to ride a horse, or partake in a leisurely stroll. That is if you are not deterred by the somewhat extortionate parking fee - $7 no matter what time you arrive and not included in the state pass. The park also has wi-fi – I am undecided whether this is a good thing or not. The principle trail here is much less strenuous than Temescal, and almost as scenic. The 3 mile loop begins just east of the parking lot and polo grounds, past the Rogers home with a climb up the fire road. The walk takes you up the parameter of the ranch, up a gentle incline to the summit at Inspiration Point – another view that really delivers: to the West, the Pacific Ocean, to the East, the Oz-like towers of downtown LA, and the stars’ homes (or some other obscenely rich people) in the near vicinity. It’s kind of amazing how big this city really is – and yet here I sit in the middle of it feeling completely removed from the sprawling metropolis below.

Temescal

The Temescal Canyon trail loop is a hike through rugged, chapparel covered terrain in the Santa Monica mountains that sits just east of Pacific Palisades just off Sunset Blvd - though it is worlds apart from the infamous Strip a few miles down the road. It's a popular hike and very accessible to city dwellers (minimal traffic), but certainly not the easiest hike in the local area. If you lived close by, you probably wouldn't need to invest in a gym membership - you could just hike temescal 3 times a week instead.


It begins at the parking lot which is supervised by the "Iron Park Ranger" which is a little postbox that demands $6 in a envelope for parking. And trust me, if you don't pay that fee the human park ranger will give you a $30 ticket.

You will need to bring at least 2 liters of water with you -- if you don't have any, don't even think about doing this trail. There is no little shop at the top, and the one at the parking lot never seems to be open. And you must leave your dog at home if you want to do the loop.

If you want an excuse to reward yourself with a burger afterwards and don't want to have to go to the gym for a few days, approach this trail from the west side. If you want an easier hike go east. The initial approach from the west is generally unremarkable but instantly strenuous -- once you get about halfway up (about 20 minutes) which generally coincides with the feeling that you can't go one step further, take the time to catch your breath and reward yourself with a first glimpse of the view - on a clear day, you can see Catalina Island, Long Beach, and the entire LA basin. Now you have your incentive to soldier on - I usually find this is also the point when some smug fitness freak sprints pass you Carl Lewis-style uphill, probably carrying handweights and boasting less than 10% body fat. As you head towards the top, you will probably think you have reached the top at least 5 times before you actually do - remind yourself that the view will be totally worth it. It will.

The view to the west is one of how the other half lives -- sprawling estates with tennis courts and swimming pools. I have no idea who lives there but one day, when I break down and buy a star map I'm going to come up here with some binoculars to do some, uh, birdwatching to see if I can spot the crested Brangelina or the red-winged Spielberg. If you haven't completely spent yourself, trudge further up the trail along the ridge to Skull Rock for an better view -- it's hard to imagine that you are standing in the middle of the second biggest city in the United States because it feels like the middle of nowhere.

The descent on the east side is very beautiful. About halfway down - after no doubt encountering a few hikers huffing and puffing there way up - you arrive at the waterfalls, which is probably the most pleasant part of the trail. The rest of the trail is very rocky and quite steep -- I fell over twice. It's also not very clearly marked - so I found myself wandering into a clearing where a posh wedding was being held. At the end of the loop, the trail ends where it begins - in the parking lot. Which is followed by a trip to Swingers in Santa Monica for my burger reward, possibly negating the fitness benefits of undertaking the Temescal challenge but I don't really care since I will feel the affect of it for at least a few days in my calves and arse.

"Geez, my feet haven't touched pavement since I reached Los Angeles."
Woody Allen, Annie Hall

Apparently "no one walks in LA." This little adage is the source of many jokes in films, notably LA Story where Steve Martin gets in his car to drive next door to visit his neighbor. It's pretty typical of the jaundiced view many people take towards LA, especially New Yorkers, but the irony is that LA County offers some of the best hiking you could expect to find near an urban area. Of course, you have to drive to get there. And when driving in LA County, traffic jams are as inevitable as death and taxes.

If traffic is decent, you can reasonably expect to get somewhere that feels like the middle of nowhere in 20-30 minutes. Straddling the Santa Monica Mountain range, with the San Gabriel Mountains to the east and the Pacific Ocean to the west, the country's most populous county has many canyons, forests, beaches and huge swathes of urban wilderness to explore. It also includes the westernmost edges of the Mojave Desert and the Channel Islands.

With sunny California weather on your side, there are also good day hikes in Ventura, San Bernadino and Orange counties. And if you want to venture further afield for a weekend away from smog and urban sprawl, there is California's contrasting landscape and diverse topography to explore. If you have even more time, the sweeping wide open spaces of American West are practically on your doorstep. Provided it doesn't take 6 hours to leave LA County (and if live here you know I'm not joking).